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Is it ok to compare our children?


I know Montessori wasn't into comparing children, no tests, no scores, no grades, no top of the class, no bottom of the class. I have never been one to take comparisons seriously. Be it sleep, crawling, clapping, walking, counting, saying the alphabet, saying the alphabet backwards. 

But one thing I find myself doing constantly is comparing my children to each other. Otis has teeth when Caspar had none, Otis is creeping when Caspar was immobile and it goes on. It doesn't help that I only have two children, both of them boys and aside from having different colourings they look very much alike. 

While my comparisons generally go on in my head, other people have started to make comparisons also. Wow, he's just like his brother! Otis is going to hear those words over and over for the rest of his life. I hope it is never a burden - to be compared to his brother. I hope the comparisons continue to be warm and lighthearted and never lead to feelings of inadequacy or resentment. 

I will never be able to completely stop myself or others from making comparisons but what I can do is ensure each child is valued seperately and that I place value on our family unit. Still I feel that as the younger bother Otis will always look up to Caspar, most likely with admiration. Perhaps the admiration will be mutual. 

(Grandma - this photograph is for you, Otis thanks you for the new fire truck!)

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