I love this flow chart by Daniel Willingham Professor of Psychology at the University of Virginia and Author - "Guy I know was complaining about making his 8th grader's lunch. I didn't have presence of mind to say anything so 3 days later I made this."

Found via Free-Range Kids. I appreciate the comments that for many people Acts of Service is a Love Language, I've found this especially true with Grandparents. When my Mum visited a couple of years ago she started making the boys' school lunches for them, she wanted to help out and it was very kind of her. One day she slept in and didn't make their lunches, the boys didn't know what to do, they were not happy, they had taken her service for granted. 

While I feel this chart applies to children of all ages we can recognise that independence especially in very young children doesn't need to be forced. Yes, your four-year-old can dress herself but today she wants to connect with you, and may ask for you to dress her.

I like that this chart gives us a reminder that there are options and that there is a path to independence!